Dear Cher,

I Believe If I Could Turn Back Time, i’d be Strong Enough Just Like Jesse James (Bang Bang) to give All Or Nothing for The Way Of Love. I Found Someone Walking In Memphis because he couldn’t get a Taxi Taxi. He told the driver “Take Me Home” you Half Breed that’s Hell On Wheels-but the guy had a Heart Of Stone (because Love Hurts) and One By One, he sang every Song For The Lonely. But the guy fought back and sang A Different Kind Of Love Song–”Dov’e LAmore-(it’s French!) and screamed You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me, so Save Up All Your Tears because I have Love And Understanding-(and then did that fingers to his eyes/fingers to the drivers eyes thingy and said I Got You, Babe-) and felt Alive Again. After All, Paradise Is Here even When The Money’s Gone, so give All Or Nothing while you Shoop Shoop! Feeling rather Sunny on Love So High he turned and proclaimed “Welcome To Burlesque” in an Emotional Fire. Happy Birthday, Cher!